Peace (be with me)

There are very few places in life where I feel completely at peace. 

One is the Grotto at Notre Dame. It literally doesn't matter what is happening in my life... if I go to the Grotto, I feel instantly better. There's something about being out in the open, in nature (sort of), talking to God that's just pretty perfect to me. 

Another, at least this year, is at school. All around this year, I have the best crop of students I've ever had. They are kind, funny, and respectful... ALL OF THEM! This is a phenomenon in education, because I don't think there is ever a year where everyone works together, gets along, and attempts to do the work. This is that year. I love going to work because it's surrounded with positivity and energy and happiness from my students AND my amazing coworkers. Now, don't get me wrong, there have been entire school YEARS that this isn't the case. But this is not that year. 

Thirdly, when I run. There's something completely foreign about feeling at peace when your body is (sometimes painfully) charging forward. There's so much chaos that happens in my body during a run -- my heart pounds, my legs scream, my lungs rise and fall, my brain goes in to overdrive about what I'm doing -- but there's something so peaceful in that chaos. I can't describe it. If you know, you know. 

Sometimes, and maybe just lately, I feel that peace escaping when I'm not at one of those three places. I feel overloaded with a lot of the things on my plate and a lot of the things in my head. There just seems to be so much to do and never enough hours to do it all in. My brain, even in the quiet moments, keeps churning. Lately, this has caused some sleepless nights and an overtired Ang, neither of which I'm a fan of. 

When I was little, and I used to pray, it was always for specific things. "Dear God, please let me pass that spelling test I didn't study for." "Dear God, please let so-and-so like me."  "Dear God, please don't let me fall down the stairs at Penn High School during passing period." "Dear God, please don't let that entire cake I ate go straight to my stomach and hips." 

Lately, my prayers have been a little more trusting, I suppose... "Dear God, please take care of my loved ones and keep them safe, happy, and healthy. And please give me strength and peace in my heart and in my life. And please help to remind me that I'm on the exact path you want me to be on."

You see, I am a control freak. And not just a control freak, but a CONTROL FREAK. I want things to be the way I want them to be, and when they don't go that way, I try to make it so they do (see, see what I mean by FREAK). So, me trusting that things are going to happen the way they're supposed to is incredibly, incredibly difficult. 

But the irony is, I've found that when I trust that things are unfolding the way they're supposed to, I'm FAR more at peace than when I'm trying to make them happen. Hmph. It's funny how that works, isn't it?  

So, this half marathon training? Not by chance. I'm doing it now because I'm supposed to be doing it now. And there is something very peaceful in that.