Today's run was more out of mental necessity than physical fitness. I'll explain. Do you ever have those days... you wake up, and something feels... different, somehow? Nothing has changed, nothing has really even happened, but you feel different? I know this is a vague and obtuse explanation, but it's the best I can do, really.
I woke up this morning, and mentally, I was scattered. My focus? Shot. My capabilities to put together intelligent thoughts? Gone.
What is with today?
So, after blundering around the house for a few hours, I figured a run would help to clear my noggin of all that was in it.
Sort of.
Lately, I've been using part of my run time to talk to God. Not like, "Oh, God, when will this be over?" but more of a, "Hey, I'm out here in this wonderful world that you created, and I feel like it's a good time to have a chat with you."
In high school, and even in college, I was pretty spiritual. I won't say religious, because, as much as I love Catholicism and the Catholic church, there are some things I don't necessarily take stock in. But I always felt a strong connection to God. And then around 25 or 26, I just sort of lost it. I can't explain it. Maybe it was frustration. Maybe I just felt like God wasn't listening anymore (He is a man, after all). I don't know where it went, but it went.
But after a few years and a lot of soul-searching, God and I reconnected around April of this past year. Maybe turning 28 gave me a kick in the pants, I don't really know, but I started talking to Him again, and we've been on pretty solidly good terms ever since.
So on this Sunday morning, it seemed like a good time to have a chat with the big guy upstairs.
Another wonderful thing about running is it gives you time to connect, to focus, and to think about what's really important in life. It gives you a chance to reflect and imagine and make important decisions.
My decision? Life is too short not to try. So I will try my best when I run. And I will try other really potentially scary things to. Because at least I can say I tried.
So even though there was no verbal response, gaining that clarity might be just what I needed. Great convo today.
Reconnection is good :) So many people quit before they even start. I once said "I could never do a marathon" but guess what? I have a medal hanging on my wall. It was very slow, very long and very hard but it was amazing! I can hardly wait to see your post when you finish your Princess 1/2. I hope someone is takng pics of you when you finish and if not you have to order at least one & post it so we can see your accomplishment in the flesh!!! You are soooo close to your goal :)
ReplyDeleteYou're so positive, Sherry! I love your enthusiasm! And, you actually make me think I can do it, which is really reassuring! My mom will be at the race with me, so she's designated photographer. I'm sure I'll look GREAT by the end!
ReplyDeleteOnly 45 days away... eeek!
You already "know" you can do it, now you just need to put it in the books! Those post race pics are not exactly the ones you want to frame & hang in your living room...unless you happen to WIN :) My first race ever was only a few years ago, 10K with my daughter by my side. As we run through the tunnel at Notre Dame there is a photographer. My daughter says "Mom, fix your hair, they are taking our picture". What? There's no "fixing any hair" after running 6 miles in the heat & sweating like a pig...are you kidding me??? But, it's OK, doesn't matter. Most people will never do what are about to do and they will never try.
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