Let's talk about my least favorite part of parenting so far: potty training! HOLY CRAP this is so hard. But we're about four weeks in, and dare I say, I think he's got it! So tonight, I thought I'd share a little bit more of what this journey has looked like for us the second time around! 

A little background before I dive in. I potty trained our older son at 26 months old. He was just over two, incredibly verbal, and showing huge indicators that he was interested. Around the time he turned two, I picked up the book Oh Crap Potty Training, and I absolutely loved her method. Essentially, the child walks around pantsless for a few days before transitioning back into pants and then undies/pants. For those first several days, this is the only thing you focus on. Like, at all. I remember days 2 and 4 being REALLY tough with him, but I also remember that it clicked pretty quickly. 

So with our second son, I knew I wanted to try to potty train around the same age. I have incredibly stubborn boy children, and I can only imagine what more months would have done for them. 

Here's what the book doesn't address: What in the actual HELL are you supposed to do with the older child while you're potty training the younger one?! It's practically impossible to focus all of your attention on the potty training child, because you HAVE ANOTHER KID. Gratefully, we started this process during the holiday break when my husband was home and could entertain said other child, but this was my biggest concern going into it, and it was a hurdle that was tough.

Days one and two were like a dream. He got it so quickly, and we were thrilled with his progress. We did that stupid thing that parents do where we patted ourselves on the back and thought we totally had this thing nailed. 

Then day three came. And, spoiler alert, we had some SERIOUS resistance to going on the potty. Like, we weren't getting there at ALL. And worse, he was waiting until the second I went to warm up coffee or grab something to let loose. So he totally knew what he was doing! Stinker! 

Days 3 through 10 were TOUGH. We had largely stayed home from activities during the time, so on top of going stir crazy, I was getting super nervous about what our eventual return to real life was going to look like. Even if we avoided outings for awhile, at the very minimum, the time was coming where I had to take my older son to and from school three days a week, and that was a necessity. 

I remember at one point, we had a very real conversation about doing a "reset" - stopping potty training for two to four weeks and trying again after that time had passed. I was frustrated. Dan was frustrated. It was frustrating. But, in Oh Crap, she recommends waiting two full weeks and REALLY giving it a good effort before throwing in the towel. Admittedly, my focus couldn't be completely on our potty trainer because there were other living beings in the house that needed care and attention too. So we decided we would go until the 14 day mark and then decide. 

We really worked with him and tried to use language around the idea of the feeling of having to go potty. I could see him getting frustrated with himself when he didn't make it to the potty, so I knew he was trying! We did a lot of praise and encouragement, and big brother was SO helpful with this. He absolutely cheers the loudest, which is so sweet! 

And then. Day 11. 

I don't even know what changed. Maybe it was the fact that I relaxed a little bit. Maybe it was the fact that we were back to our normal weekly routine with school and activities and a regimented schedule. Maybe he just decided he wanted to show us what we could do. But on day 11, he just started using the potty. 

And knock on wood, almost a month in, it's been success ever since! He's been so good about telling us when he has to go (he even alerts us to WHAT kind of potty he needs to do), and we've seen very few accidents in either form in the past two weeks. Praise be! 

So here, in no particular order, is what I learned. 

It's hard to give full attention to potty training with other kiddos in the house. I don't have a remedy for this. I mean, if you have a way to offload other children for the interim, I suppose you can do that, but it's very hard to REALLY give that full attention. It might take a little longer. 

All progress is good progress. So many days looked like failure. I made a point each night to celebrate ANY progress forward we had during the day. Find the good moments and celebrate those while you cry into your beer each night. Or chocolate, if you don't want beer. 

Make one parent the point person. One of the things I think we didn't do a great job of this time around was splitting the duties. When I potty trained our first, I was running the show. I did the bulk of the training, and I think our son got used to my style of potty training. With our second, we were kind of tag teaming in order to make sure we both had adequate time with each child, and honestly, I feel like it kind of messed him up. I tend to be more patient with things like this while my husband is more patient during play, and I think our sweet little guy got mixed messages. I can't say for certain this hurt the process, but it definitely didn't help it. 

Give it the two full weeks. I will tell you, on day ten, I was thisclose to just throwing it all away. Our house was NOT harmonious, and I was honestly beginning to question my sanity. It was a lot. But the idea of having to start this process over from scratch was so exhausting, so we vowed to give it the two weeks. It is SO hard when you see immediate results that disappear. But I am SO thankful we didn't quit. That being said, we had some pretty big indicators that he was getting it and was just resisting. The fact that he was waiting until we walked away just proved that he could control his bladder (and control when he released it!)! 

Do what you gotta do. The book says not to use rewards. And we didn't with our first child. But this one, well, you do what you gotta do. I am totally okay with giving him a jelly belly five times a day if he goes on the potty. We didn't start out rewarding, but somewhere in the process, I was like - whatever it takes here, people! Sometimes he asks for a treat afterward. Sometimes he asks and forgets. Sometimes he doesn't ask. I don't stress about it anymore. He's doing great, and that's what counts in my book! 

So, tell me your potty training experience! How did it go when you potty trained your littles? 

Budgeting in the New Year: Spend. All. The. Gift Cards.

Happy New Year, all! 2020. I still can't quite believe that we're in the new Roaring 20s (YES, I will be calling them that from now on, so you should adjust, because we've got a decade of it comin' attcha), but alas, here we are. 

So on NYE, when my husband took a peek at our holiday credit card bill, we had a little come to Jesus meeting about our spending. We've always been decent with our money and allocate into savings, retirement, and our various other accounts, but we've got big dreams, big vacations, and big plans for 2020, so we're trying hard to cut back. 

Light bulb moment! 

Are we the only ones who acquire gift cards and forget to use them? That's us. We get a gift card that we're really excited about, and then we put them somewhere safe, and weeks or months pass before we even think about them again. 

So on January 1, I went to all the spots in our house where we keep gift cards (which, P.S., was seven different spots), and I made a list of all of them. 

Gift cards for date nights. 
Gift cards for fun outings with the kids. 
Gift cards for groceries. 
Gift cards for wellness. 
Gift cards for car washes.
Gift cards for all the things we normally do and just haven't used gift cards for. 

I'm almost embarrassed to tell you how much we had in gift cards (it's four digits, y'all). So we dubbed January the month of the gift card. If we can use a gift card on it, that's what we're doing. 

This is my friendly reminder to you. If you've got gift cards sitting in drawers, go get them out NOW and use them up this year too, friends! I bet you too have more than you think you do laying around, and it does no good for any of us to let them sit in the drawer! Join us this month in gift card-ing... and then we'll figure out a new budgeting plan for February! <3 

Word of the Year 2020: Connect

Somehow, we're already on the verge of 2020, and I kind of can't believe that. For whatever reason, it feels like it's still September, and I can't seem to wrap my head around a new year. But alas, time is ticking away, and all the magic and promise of a new year is upon us. 

I LOVE a good, fresh start. I love the idea of renewing and beginning again. What I never really loved were resolutions. I rarely kept them, and then I'd be more discouraged when I failed at whatever I'd set out to do. 

So the past several years, I've focused on a one word theme. It's something to keep me focused and grounded, and it's something I can come back to over and over again when I feel like I'm not accomplishing enough. Am I still working on my word? Then I'm doing okay! 

When I started thinking about what I wanted my word for this year to be, I knew it needed to be people focused. Pretty much the best thing in life are the relationships we have with others, right? And I want to focus there. 

So in 2020, my word is connect. 

I debated a whole host of other words first. I thought vision would be cute and clever since it's 20/20, but I tabled it when it felt like I wasn't sure where to go with it. I also loved the idea of celebrate, but it didn't focus enough on relationships for me. 

And thus, I landed on connect. Because the connections are the best things about this life. I LOVE hearing other people's stories, and I want to continue to hear those in 2020. I want to help connect other women with a business they might fall in love with just like I have in KEEP Collective. I want to connect more with my family and friends and make that quality time together count. 

And if I'm being really 100% honest, I want to make sure I'm disconnecting enough to connect. I've spent FAR too much time on my phone in the last four months - often legitimately for work - but sometimes as a way to zone out and distract too. And it's been just WAY. TOO. MUCH. So as much as I want to connect, I also want to DISconnect to focus more on relationships and quality time. 

So there's my 2020 word, friends. Are you word of the year people? What word are YOU focusing on in 2020? 

My past words of the year: 
2019: Intentional
2018: Flourish
2017: Count
2016: Thrive

Why I'm going Red for Ed, and why I hope you will too

If you live in Indiana or near Indiana, you've probably heard about the Red for Ed Movement happening on November 19. More than half the school districts in the state are closed or opting for an e-learning day, largely so that teachers can attend (and, truth be told, there just won't be enough subs ANYWHERE to cover for them). This movement has been a long time coming. 

I've been out of the classroom now for almost five years, but before that, I spent a decade teaching mostly high school English and journalism courses. And when I say that this action is necessary for the state of Indiana, action is NECESSARY, before it gets any worse. 

I know there are haters out there - believe me - I already hear your arguments. "Teachers get three months off in the summer!" "Teachers only work 8-3!" "Teachers knew what they were getting into when they went into this field!" "If you can't do, teach!" Thank you, y'all, for the same, tired arguments. Maybe decades ago, teachers got three months off and could do all their work in the workday. But this just isn't true anymore. It's not even CLOSE to true. There are so many reasons each individual educator has for why Tuesday is so important to him or her. And my list probably won't even scratch the surface. But here, in no particular order, are some of the biggest obstacles in teaching right now. 

The lack of respect in our field is startling. And Lordy, I wish I was just talking about students. The lack of respect can certainly be there among the people we teach, but I can't even begin to describe the lack of respect that comes from adults who think they know all the things. The general public has OPINIONS, y'all, and they're strong (and largely unfounded). And often times, it's parents who spread the disrespect. Almost every teacher I know has been disrespected in a major way at one point or another. My last week of teaching, I had a parent of a student come in and accuse me of not telling her child when a GIANT PAPER WE'D BEEN WORKING ON FOR WEEKS WAS DUE. Nevermind the fact that we'd already had peer edit and rough drafts due, that it had been discussed in class no less than 20 times, that it was written on the board where the class agenda ALWAYS appeared daily for the last three weeks, that the due dates were on our online gradebook that both the student and parents had access to, and that every other child in the class knew the date. My credibility and professionalism was called into question - simply because the parent COULD. It was infuriating (clearly, because five years later, I think it still raises my blood pressure). 

The system is totally biased. My last few years of teaching, I was blessed to teach journalism and our newspaper course - both electives. I also taught Junior Honors English - a required class (some form of English was required all four years). So when it came time for testing that literally determined if I would get a pay bump or not, guess what? I was always found Highly Effective and given the highest bump, if you will. Guess who sometimes didn't fall into that category? The teachers who taught remedial classes or were working with students who were literally GRADE LEVELS behind for whatever reason. The system is totally skewed, friends. Do I think I was a good teacher? I do, actually. But my students would have tested well whether I was there or not because they WANTED to. That's not always the case, and for this to be a part of a teachers pay is absolutely ludicrous. 

There aren't enough teachers and subs to go around. When I graduated college, I truly worried about getting a teaching job. I was lucky enough to score a middle school position my first year - but I knew many, many college grads who didn't get a job their first or second year out.  In order to keep that job, I had to get a certification added to my license to teach middle school because I was only licensed to teach grades 9-12 Teaching jobs were hard to come by, so I happily obliged. Before I even finished that course work, I was laid off from my first teaching job in April of my first year of teaching, and by the grace of God, I went to another district where I was hired to teach English and journalism. But guess what? I wasn't licensed to teach journalism even though I'd spent time working as a journalist at our newspaper, been an editor at our college paper, and had spent countless hours working with the same programs and curriculum I'd be teaching. So back to school I went to get my Master's of Education degree. I tell you all of this to show you the hoops I was willing to jump through to teach. It was my sole passion at the time, and I wanted to be in the classroom. And if I didn't get certified, there were plenty of other people out there who WOULD do it. 

In 2019, this just isn't the case. I know SO many districts that STILL haven't filled all their openings for the school year (in November, there are still classrooms operating with subs), and there just aren't enough subs to go around. When too many teachers are out, and not enough subs are available, teachers are the ones who end up having to sub for one another, which means they don't get a prep period that day to plan lessons, grade, attend their required meetings, or do one of any number of things they do on a daily basis. So the work comes home. Oh, and did I mention that they don't get compensated for teaching extra classes? Many districts have the "all hands on deck" mentality, and therefore teacher work time suffers greatly. 

Teachers are essentially forced to teach to the test, and it's not working. I could go on and on about this one, but I won't. Instead I'll say this. Is it working? Is all this teaching to the test working? Schools are under so much pressure to put up good numbers, and for what? Are our students coming out of school smarter and better prepared for life? Are they seeing more success in college and their careers because of these tests? Is ANY good coming from this?! I'm all for accountability, but there HAS to be a better way. 

The new requirements are insane. In the event that I haven't made the point yet, teachers work really freaking hard. I can only speak to English teachers here, because it's all I know, but I rarely, if ever, completed my work during the school day. Papers came home. Projects were graded in my classroom on the weekends. And summers were spent prepping new curriculum, going to conferences, or taking course work. So, lobbing on a 15-hour unpaid externship so that teachers can gain "real world experience" is just ridiculous. I'll say it louder for the people in the back. TEACHERS HAVE ENOUGH TO DO WITHOUT THIS REQUIREMENT. It's insulting to suggest that teachers aren't professional and don't know what they need to do in order to prepare students. It's demoralizing that as a whole, teachers are lumped into this category of being ill prepared to teach. 

Things have changed, dramatically. If you haven't been inside a school lately, I'd like to politely remind you that straight up everything has changed. We're a society that literally does everything digitally. We expect everything to be done on demand. Technology rules, often more so than actual conversation. Society as a whole seems to be skeptical. There's a lack of responsibility all the way around. Homes have changed - BIG. Family life looks different than it did 20 years ago. 

So why am I sharing this? What do I hope to accomplish. It's simply this. Now more than ever, there is a need for incredible educators. 

Our society needs it - because we need students in ALL fields to be able to go out into the world and change it for the better. 

We need those incredible educators because oftentimes, they're the most stable forces in a child's life. They're a safe space to land when life is spinning out of control. 

And we need those incredible educators because who will teach when those still there get fed up enough to leave it altogether? I've seen it happen with so much of the former staff I worked with. Who will be left to teach our future? 

So on Tuesday, I'm standing with every single educator who's marching down in Indy or sharing the cause locally. Because chances are, when those educators get home Tuesday night, they're STILL going to do work to be ready for school Wednesday. 

And they deserve better. 

Join me in going Red for Ed, friends!

From house to home: Decorating our half bath!

Remember at the beginning of the year when I said we would decorate a room a month in our new home? Welp. Here we are. Month nine. And we've just now completed our second room. 

It's not for lack of trying! We've started some small projects in the boys's rooms, but we've not seen those through yet. And we've done some work in the family room and laundry, but again, life. 

So, in order to feel slightly more accomplished, we decided to tackle the half bath. Let's take care of the smallest room first to feel like we're getting somewhere! 

Our style definitely tends toward traditional, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't love a good farmhouse accent. We can't use it throughout the whole house - we have a lot of oak and dark counters in the kitchen, and it would feel out of place. But for places like the foyer and bathroom, we thought we could bring in a few pieces. 

Before - plain walls. The biggest obstacle to overcome here is the light above the toilet (which, honestly, is just kind of a weird spot to have a light fixture in my humble opinion). I loved the dark mirror in there, so we knew we needed to pull in at least some black in the accents. And I knew I wanted a little bit of decorative and functional shelving. So to Pinterest I went! 

I found a TON of cute bathroom signs that I totally plan to use for our upstairs bathrooms, but none of them seemed appropriate for this one. So we opted for decorative wall hangings instead. These guys were only $20.99 on Amazon, and they had rave reviews! I wasn't even intending to add the little strand of lights to them, but when my husband hung them, he put them in, and I really do LOVE them! 

For shelves, we wanted something neat and simple that tied our mason jars into the dark mirror, so we opted for these two.  Again, at $23.99, they certainly didn't break the bank, and they'd be easy enough to change later if we decided to do something different over the toilet and light fixture. These two changes seem small, but I feel like they made our bathroom a little cozier and added some depth to an otherwise static space. 

I also just really love a good before and after picture. :) What are you updating right now in your home? 

Everybody has a story (and why we need to value that more)

When I was teaching high school English and journalism, my favorite assignment was based around the notion that everybody has a story. The idea was inspired by CBS reporter Steve Hartman who used to pick a random city (via dart and map). He'd fly to the city, find the first payphone and phone book he could, choose a random name, and interview whoever answered the phone. Because the whole point was everybody has a story. Whether it was a retiree or a four-year-old, he always found the most heartfelt stories to share, and I found them endearing. 

For my students, we modernized it (because who could locate a payphone and phone book these days?!) and made it slightly safer - choose someone you know - but not well - and interview him or her. Sometimes my students listened and would find someone random - their mail person, the kid who sat behind them in a different class, a bus driver. Most of the time, they chose someone closer to them - a cousin, friend, coworker. But even when they went in with a preconceived idea of what they would write about, they often came out with a totally different story. THAT was my favorite - when they dug a little deeper and got a better story than they originally intended to tell. 

Because everybody has a story. And a really good one at that. 

My love of storytelling started when I was really young. In fourth grade, I started a newsletter about our family. I found one recently, and the stories in it were about my uncles cat and dog, my new haircut (breaking news: I GOT BANGS!), and what we were doing in my class at school. It wasn't groundbreaking, earth shattering reporting, but it was fun, and I liked finding stories (even when, super selfishly, they were about me). 

But that love of storytelling never went away. In high school, I took creative writing. I LOVED it, but I never thrived there. And I couldn't figure out why, because I LOVED stories. 

And then in college, I started writing for The Observer, the conjoined Saint Mary's and Notre Dame student newspaper. I went on to become the Saint Mary's editor in my junior and senior year, and the obsession magnified 15-fold. I'd found my niche. I was a storyteller, just of the non-fiction variety. 

As a teacher, I loved reading the work of my students. Whether we were editing newspaper articles, putting together research papers, or working on personal narratives, I LOVED what my kids wrote. I MISSED those stories when I started staying home, and although I began to document the stories of my children, I knew what was missing was hearing other people's stories. 

Gratefully, I still get to help people tell their stories - this time through jewelry, and selfishly, I love hearing those stories. It's my passion and part of my purpose. But I digress, and I appreciate you sticking to this diatribe this long. 

But it all comes down to this: valuing other people and their stories is what I truly believe is going to change the world. 

Yep, I said it. And I'm sure some of you out there are giving me big eye rolls right about now. But it's so darn true. 

When we listen to each other's stories and learn more about the people in our lives, we grow to understand them. We gain empathy. We gain perspective through their experiences. We might even gain an appreciation for someone and what she's been through. This still doesn't mean you have to want to spend time with every single person you come into contact with (Lord knows there are some personalities that just don't jive!). BUT, it does mean that we might try harder to be a little kinder or extend a polite hello or just give a damn about someone other than ourselves for a minute. 

Every single one of us has a story. We're not ranking them. We're not in competition for the best or worst or most triumphant or saddest. They. All. Matter. Every person. Every story. And if we would take the time, really take the time, to listen to one another, I really think this world has a shot at being a better place. 

On running a social selling business - successfully!

If you run your own business, and especially if you're in the world of social selling, chances are you want to do it well. And you're always striving to do it better. 

Four years ago, I took a total leap of faith and started a social selling business. I'll be 100% honest with you and tell you I never saw myself doing direct sales - not because I had preconceived notions or prejudices toward the industry (I know some do). But, my background was in English and education. My master's degree is in Curriculum and Instruction with an emphasis in journalism. 

I'd never taken a business class in my life. And the closest I ever got to being a salesperson was my first ever job at our local Martin's Supermarket where I was a cashier. Not a whole lot of sales technique needed there! 

So I jumped into this world not because I had a passion for sales but because I have an insane passion for storytelling, and I knew this was a way I could help tell stories from home while my kiddos napped. 

I honestly didn't have a clue what I was doing. I didn't know a thing about branding, marketing, analytics, or customer relations. NONE of that was in my wheelhouse. But I love learning, and I'm a good student, so I knew I could learn. I jumped into every call, webinar, training, and resource provided by our Home Office (and seriously, y'all, KEEP Collective is INSANELY GOOD with training and resources!). I watched what successful leaders in my company and the industry as a whole were doing, and I took bits and pieces that I could apply to my business. I started reading more books on professional and personal development and started reading a little less fiction. And I spent time figuring out who I was as a designer (or consultant or salesperson or representative or ambassador or whatever you're called in your company). Who was I, and what made me, me? 

And there are lots of nuggets of wisdom I could unload here. And I do - weekly - on my team's Facebook page - because when we all share those nuggets, we ALL benefit. I'm so damn lucky to do this among INCREDIBLE teammates and other designers who are always lifting each other up. 

But today, I'm sharing the biggest nugget with you. Because sharing is caring, y'all, and we're all in this together. 

The BEST piece of advice I can ever give you: Get consistent. 

I realize that probably sounds really simplistic, right? 

But consistency in your business solves SO FREAKING MANY PROBLEMS you might face. Let's break it down, okay? 

Posting on social media
Twenty years ago, the world of direct sales looked INSANELY different. Why? Because social media was just a baby (or in most cases, non-existent), and it has VASTLY changed how people share. We no longer call Aunt Agnes to tell her the latest things the kids are up to. Instead, we post our pictures and stories on Facebook and she sees it all there. We no longer have to rely on the postal service to get catalogs and information across the country. We just share a link, and poof, the information is there! 

So why does consistency matter on Social Media? Because you and your business aren't people's priority. While your best friends and family members may know what it is you do, the vast majority probably does NOT. It's important to let people know who you are and what you have to offer. 

Now, that DOESN'T mean you post 17 times a day about your business (or 17 times a day, period). But what it does mean is that you find your cadence and you commit to doing it. Maybe you share on your personal page when you have new products that launch, and you share more frequently in a group or on a business page where people make the choice to follow you. But find a rhythm that works for you and your type of business, and commit to doing it. 

Casual conversations with new people
For the first three or so years that I was designing at KEEP Collective, every single time someone asked me what I did, I'd say that I was a stay-at-home-mom. Which, true. BUT, I also work from home, and I freaking LOVE that I get the balance of both. So now when people ask what it is that I do, I tell them that I get to work from home with an incredible storytelling and jewelry business while raising my babes. It's the best of all the worlds and the perfect fit for our family. 

Sharing what you do is important, and so are those casual conversations. When you meet new people, don't be afraid to share what it is you do when it comes up! If they ask more about it, AWESOME. If they don't, that's awesome too. But keep talking about it - when applicable. 

Putting in the time 
Your business is flexible, but it's not optional. And we ALL have stuff going on. But if you're going to make your business thrive, you have to put in the time. You have to make it or find it. Getting up 20 minutes earlier. Setting aside an evening or two a week. Committing to 30 minutes on a weekend morning. Skipping an hour of Netflix here and there. It doesn't matter when or how, but the effort has to be there. And this really has to be what works best for YOU. For some people, it's really structured time the same days of the week. For others, it's fitting it in during the small crevices of the day (this is how I operate, but I know it doesn't work for everyone!). It doesn't matter how. It matters that you DO. 

There will be ebbs and flows - as in all things. And flexibility and adaptability are key. But consistency HAS to be a part of that. 

If you own your own business or are in social selling, I'd love to know, what's YOUR best piece of advice? What would you tell others?