A little background before I dive in. I potty trained our older son at 26 months old. He was just over two, incredibly verbal, and showing huge indicators that he was interested. Around the time he turned two, I picked up the book Oh Crap Potty Training, and I absolutely loved her method. Essentially, the child walks around pantsless for a few days before transitioning back into pants and then undies/pants. For those first several days, this is the only thing you focus on. Like, at all. I remember days 2 and 4 being REALLY tough with him, but I also remember that it clicked pretty quickly.
So with our second son, I knew I wanted to try to potty train around the same age. I have incredibly stubborn boy children, and I can only imagine what more months would have done for them.
Here's what the book doesn't address: What in the actual HELL are you supposed to do with the older child while you're potty training the younger one?! It's practically impossible to focus all of your attention on the potty training child, because you HAVE ANOTHER KID. Gratefully, we started this process during the holiday break when my husband was home and could entertain said other child, but this was my biggest concern going into it, and it was a hurdle that was tough.
Days one and two were like a dream. He got it so quickly, and we were thrilled with his progress. We did that stupid thing that parents do where we patted ourselves on the back and thought we totally had this thing nailed.
Then day three came. And, spoiler alert, we had some SERIOUS resistance to going on the potty. Like, we weren't getting there at ALL. And worse, he was waiting until the second I went to warm up coffee or grab something to let loose. So he totally knew what he was doing! Stinker!
Days 3 through 10 were TOUGH. We had largely stayed home from activities during the time, so on top of going stir crazy, I was getting super nervous about what our eventual return to real life was going to look like. Even if we avoided outings for awhile, at the very minimum, the time was coming where I had to take my older son to and from school three days a week, and that was a necessity.
I remember at one point, we had a very real conversation about doing a "reset" - stopping potty training for two to four weeks and trying again after that time had passed. I was frustrated. Dan was frustrated. It was frustrating. But, in Oh Crap, she recommends waiting two full weeks and REALLY giving it a good effort before throwing in the towel. Admittedly, my focus couldn't be completely on our potty trainer because there were other living beings in the house that needed care and attention too. So we decided we would go until the 14 day mark and then decide.
We really worked with him and tried to use language around the idea of the feeling of having to go potty. I could see him getting frustrated with himself when he didn't make it to the potty, so I knew he was trying! We did a lot of praise and encouragement, and big brother was SO helpful with this. He absolutely cheers the loudest, which is so sweet!
And then. Day 11.
I don't even know what changed. Maybe it was the fact that I relaxed a little bit. Maybe it was the fact that we were back to our normal weekly routine with school and activities and a regimented schedule. Maybe he just decided he wanted to show us what we could do. But on day 11, he just started using the potty.
And knock on wood, almost a month in, it's been success ever since! He's been so good about telling us when he has to go (he even alerts us to WHAT kind of potty he needs to do), and we've seen very few accidents in either form in the past two weeks. Praise be!
So here, in no particular order, is what I learned.
It's hard to give full attention to potty training with other kiddos in the house. I don't have a remedy for this. I mean, if you have a way to offload other children for the interim, I suppose you can do that, but it's very hard to REALLY give that full attention. It might take a little longer.
All progress is good progress. So many days looked like failure. I made a point each night to celebrate ANY progress forward we had during the day. Find the good moments and celebrate those while you cry into your beer each night. Or chocolate, if you don't want beer.
Make one parent the point person. One of the things I think we didn't do a great job of this time around was splitting the duties. When I potty trained our first, I was running the show. I did the bulk of the training, and I think our son got used to my style of potty training. With our second, we were kind of tag teaming in order to make sure we both had adequate time with each child, and honestly, I feel like it kind of messed him up. I tend to be more patient with things like this while my husband is more patient during play, and I think our sweet little guy got mixed messages. I can't say for certain this hurt the process, but it definitely didn't help it.
Give it the two full weeks. I will tell you, on day ten, I was thisclose to just throwing it all away. Our house was NOT harmonious, and I was honestly beginning to question my sanity. It was a lot. But the idea of having to start this process over from scratch was so exhausting, so we vowed to give it the two weeks. It is SO hard when you see immediate results that disappear. But I am SO thankful we didn't quit. That being said, we had some pretty big indicators that he was getting it and was just resisting. The fact that he was waiting until we walked away just proved that he could control his bladder (and control when he released it!)!
Do what you gotta do. The book says not to use rewards. And we didn't with our first child. But this one, well, you do what you gotta do. I am totally okay with giving him a jelly belly five times a day if he goes on the potty. We didn't start out rewarding, but somewhere in the process, I was like - whatever it takes here, people! Sometimes he asks for a treat afterward. Sometimes he asks and forgets. Sometimes he doesn't ask. I don't stress about it anymore. He's doing great, and that's what counts in my book!
So, tell me your potty training experience! How did it go when you potty trained your littles?
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