Hey! I actually have two hands on a computer! Oh happy day! It's been just over six weeks since baby number three arrived, and today I wanted to share some of the products that have made life that much easier this time around! If you've got kiddos (or spend a lot of time with kiddos!), I'd love to hear what your favorite products are too in the comments! 

The Haakaa 

It wasn't until after we had our second son that I started hearing about the Haakaa, and ohmygosh, I wish I had known about this thing sooner! If you're a breastfeeding momma, you need this in your life! Essentially it's a manual pump that you squeeze and attach to your breast, and the natural suction of the pump draws the milk out for you. I use this to catch let downs on the opposite side I'm nursing, and oh my GOSH have I collected a lot of milk! I've only used my actual pump twice but am already building a freezer stockpile which is amazing! And it's less than $15. You're going to want this one - trust me! 

 

Unbuckle Me 

One of the things I was worried about when we got the minivan was how I'd get everyone out of it (especially in the winter!). Our 6 and 3-year-olds sit in the backrow, and while our 6-year-old can buckle himself, he can't unbuckle himself... until now! Enter the Unbuckle Me! I saw this ingenious little invention when I was shopping on Amazon and watched the Shark Tank clip where its makers introduced it. I figured it was worth a shot! And my 6-year-old is able to use it with ease - and unbuckle his little brother (when he'll let him!)! There are times he can't quite get it, but 90% of the time he can, and that's AMAZING. If you've got older kids, I highly recommend this one! 

Boba Wraps 

So let's be clear that my baby boys love to snuggle. They love to be held. They love to be close. And I love it too. But I also need to do the things and be with the other children. So Boba wraps have been a lifesaver (yet again!). I love strapping the baby to me for walks, prepping dinner, playing outside, or even when he just needs a good nap. Boba is stretchy, easy to wash, and easy to take on the go. I honestly can't recommend baby wearing enough, and Boba makes it so easy! 

Mamaroo Swing

We've had several friends use and love the Mamaroo, but we already had a swing (that my children spent all of 10 minutes total in as infants), so I didn't want to invest in another one. But when friends were getting rid of one, we jumped on it, and OH MY GOSH, GET IT! Don't get any other swing! Just get the Mamaroo! Skip all other swings! This is the only swing I've ever successfully gotten a baby to nap in. And he'll occasionally stay in it contently while he's awake too! Get one second hand, but GET ONE.

Those are my favorite four baby items right now, but I'd love to hear what gear helped you with your littles! Drop them below! 

The hardest decision I've ever made: Becoming a stay-at-home-mom

From as early as I can remember, I have wanted to be a teacher. And I've also wanted to be a mom. These have perhaps been two of the biggest accomplishments in my life. 

My entire formal education prepared me for teaching. I was blessed to know early on what I wanted to do, so while others were struggling in high school and early college to figure it out, I was already on my path. I focused on English, knowing that this is what I wanted to teach. I declared my major before I ever started at Saint Mary's. And I obtained my master's so that I could continue to teach the journalism classes I loved so much. 

I know people think being a high school teacher is hard, but I am absolutely unequivocally in love with teaching. There is nothing better than seeing students grow and change. I love watching students get a new concept or make improvements in their writing. I love having scholarly discussions with students about Gatsby and Huck Finn and the motivations behind a character's actions. I love getting to know my students and seeing them as more than just bodies in desks but as real people with hopes and dreams and fears and ambitions. I love keeping in touch with students who have graduated, who have gone on to wonderful things, who have followed paths they never imagined they would be on. 

So when I found out I was pregnant, I started asking myself what I would do after Henry's arrival. Dan and I are lucky to be in a position where I don't have to work, but that almost made the decision harder, because I really had to listen to my heart. Did I want to work? Did I want to stay home? 

This decision is one I have wrestled with daily since my maternity leave started. Could I be the teacher I wanted, the one who dedicated evenings and weekends to grading 50 research papers at a time, the one who edited newspaper pages with text so tiny I had to squint until I got a headache, and still be the mom I wanted to be? Could I be the mom I wanted, the one who had energy and enthusiasm to teach and play with her child after spending every work day teaching other children? Could I possibly give 100% to both my career and my baby? 

And ultimately I decided that as much as I would want to, I know I couldn't. I couldn't give Henry all the attention I wanted to in the three hours I would get to spend with him on weekdays. I couldn't give my students the attention I wanted to after sleep deprived nights or staying up too late to try to effectively edit their papers. I want to be superwoman, but I don't know if I can be. 

It legitimately breaks my heart to step away from teaching for another year, as I will take the 2015-2016 school year off as maternity leave. I think about not seeing my students and my coworkers every day, and that makes me sad. I think about not having those conversations and all of the events I'm going to miss, and it makes me want to cry (and I have, often). I love teaching. I have loved every day of teaching, even the hardest and worst days, for the last ten years.  And I don't anticipate missing teaching any less as the next year goes on. 

But as I watch my son sleepily rock in his swing (smile on his face, even), I can't imagine being somewhere else next year. I have to be with him. I just have to. 

I honestly thought I'd feel better once I made a decision. But instead I feel like an insanely large piece of me is no longer a piece of me. Teaching is who I am. It's part of my identity. Who am I if I'm not a teacher? 

I'm a mother. I'm Henry's mommy. And he deserves for me to take advantage of our situation and spend as much time with him that I can. 

And so, I've officially decided to extend my maternity leave another school year. It breaks my heart to think of the students and the discussions I will miss, but I'm thrilled to know I can do so many fun things with Henry. As my sweet department head reminded me, "You have 35 more years to be a teacher. You have right now to be Henry's mom." So, so true. 

I'm Henry's mommy.