What the Marines taught me about motherhood

About a decade ago, my sweet coworker Jerra and I traveled to San Diego for a week to learn about the Marine Corps. It was a trip for Indiana educators sponsored by the Marines so that we could get a literal inside look into the military in case we had students who might be interested in pursuing the career path. 

The trip was so eye opening in so many ways. I was incredibly ignorant when it came to the military, and the trip was equal parts learning, growing, and fun (and drinking, if we're being totally honest here). That trip still occasionally pops into my mind, especially since I became a mother. 

Because almost daily, there's a mantra I learned from my time with the Marines that I fall back on. 

One of the coolest parts of the trip was on the second day of our boot camp experience when we got to have lunch with some of the guys going through basic training. These guys had been on base for 6-7-8 weeks without any civilian contact by the time we got there, so we were a welcome sight in the mess hall that day. Jerra and I sat down with a REALLY nice young man who reminded me of so many of my students. Super smart, super talented, and wanted to do something amazing with his life. We talked for a long time about his family, his high school experience, the teachers he had, and what he wanted his future to look like. And we had the opportunity to ask him a lot of questions. And so I asked him - How do you do this every day? Knowing that the whole goal is essentially to break you down to build you back up stronger? How do you persevere through that? 

Me and Jerra having lunch with our Marine recruit!

He thought about it for a little while, but he finally just said, "Ma'am (btw, I was all of 26 at the time of this trip, but I got ma'amed everywhere we went) - Ma'am, I just focus on getting from chow to chow. I try not to think about the weeks or days that are left before I get to move onto the next step. I just focus on making it to breakfast, and then to lunch, and then to dinner, and then to breakfast again. Small goals. It helps me to stay positive." 

That conversation stuck with me, I suppose, because when I became a mom, and in particular, a work-from-home mom, his words came back to me. 

I LOVE almost everything about being a mom. I love the way my sweet boys are all snuggly and red-cheeked when they wake up in the morning. I love watching them learn something new or accomplish milestones they've been working on during the day. I love their love for each other. And I love that I get to spend so much time with them. I'm incredibly blessed to be able to stay at home with them, and I don't take that for granted. 

But y'all, I live in reality, and this job is HARD. It's the hardest job in the world with incredible stakes and no real performance review to help you improve every six months or so. Some days, it feels like the movie Groundhog's Day - wash, rinse, repeat. Chasing two little boys really IS super rewarding, but it's also mentally (and sometimes physically and emotionally) exhausting. 

So on those totally hard days, I embrace this mentality. I don't look at the month ahead or the week ahead or even the whole day ahead. I just focus on the next few hours until we get to a meal. Because ANYTHING is possible for a few hours. 

On the super hard days, I've trained myself to see the meal as a reset. Going forward, positive vibes. Whatever happened prior to that meal is water under the bridge, and we reset the day. 

Again, I love in reality, so this doesn't always work flawlessly. Some days are just a MESS regardless of a different meal, a mental reset, whatever. But some days, we DO reset, and we have an amazing afternoon or evening together when mere hours before, the day looked like a catastrophe. 

I did a lot of learning on that trip to San Diego a decade ago. But this lesson - this is the one I carry with me now as a mom. And I encourage you to try it too!