On quitting

I have never been a big fan of quitting things. Call it being an overachiever. Call it being a complete and utter perfectionist. Call it whatever you want. I hate quitting things. 

To be fair, I never really had a chance to quit much. As a kid, I wasn't involved in too much. I didn't play sports. I vaguely remember taking a dance class when I was little, but the class ended. My neighbor Kristin taught me and some other neighbor girls to twirl batons, but then she went to college. In middle school and high school, all I really did with extra-curricular activities were choir and youth group. I didn't quit either of those things. 

But I digress. I woke up this morning and felt tired and sad. I blame the sadness on being tired. Vicious cycle, those two. My running motivation this weekend has been lacking, which it shouldn't have been, since the weather was so nice. So, I finally drag myself off the couch and check the weather. Two words:

Wind Advisory. 

"Pff. Whatever. It's 58 degrees out. Got this," says my brain. 

Wrong. Have you ever tried running into the wind? Like, a constant 25 mph wind gust? The gust literally never took a break. So, the first half of my run felt like I was running in place, mostly because I was. I swear, small children and animals were blowing past me in the opposite direction. Serious, serious wind. I was about a mile in when I thought, "Screw it. Maybe I'll just turn around and go home." 

WHAT?!? Hold the phone! There's no quitting! There's no quitting even if you're making no forward progress. There's no quitting even if you are acting like a human kite. There's just zero quitting here. 

I didn't quit. 

But I did start thinking about quitting. I have a hard time giving up on things, ideas, people. I don't know where this comes from. I feel like it has to come from my perfectionism. I've always had trouble quitting when I know something can be saved. Be it a windy run, a student, or a love, I just can't seem to quit. 

Today, it worked out well. I must have run pretty fast during the second half of the run because I figured under what I normally would have for four miles. 

Good thing I'm not a quitter.