Today, I spent the bulk of my prep period looking up stretches for my left IT band. (Sorry, coworkers and principals, if you're seeing how I spent my time today -- I swear I've more than made up for it outside of school hours lately!) I learned a lot and have been stretching ever since. 

I also skipped today's five mile run. It makes me feel like a big, giant failure, but I also try to be a person who actually listens to her body. After Jazzercise this morning, my body was saying, "Maybe you're done for the day, lady." I'm trying not to feel guilty about missing this run -- I know that in all reality, one five-mile run does not a failure make. But the recovering perfectionist in me is saying, "Great, you're totally blowing it at the end!" Stupid perfectionistic inner-voice. 

In other news, today I made a list of all the things I want to take on the trip with me. I then broke the list down in to what needs to go in the carry on (shoes, race outfit, race waiver) and what can be checked at the airport. I was an honorary Boy Scout -- I'm always prepared for the worst, and lost running shoes would be a tragedy at this point. I've also decided that I will totally be buying kitschy race gear and mementos from the race to bring back with me. For one, this is my first half marathon, so I'm going to enjoy it. For two, we get our extra stipend in the last paycheck before I go to Florida, and I hear it already practically begging me to splurge and spend it (I save everything else, darnit, I want to spend for once!). 

No time like the present! :)

Six runs, seven days

Over the next seven days, I have to complete six runs. I'm also teaching three Jazzercise classes. 

Challenge accepted. 

See, now that the race is getting even closer, it's crucial that I keep reminding myself that I can do this. I'm starting to panic a little (read: A LOT) about actually completing this thing, so I feel like these final runs are going to aid in making me believe I can finish this race strong. 

I also plan to take a lot of Tylenol and Aleve over the next seven days. 

In other news, Valentine's Day is always an interesting day at high school. Girls carry around giant stuffed teddy bears and boxes of candy. Boys tote the carnations that got sent to them in first hour and dote on their girlfriends. The single students proclaim the day as Single's Awareness Day and make Valentine's for their friends. Kids seem to either be in the camp that Valentine's Day rocks, or Valentine's Day sucks. 

To me, Valentine's Day is another opportunity to tell people you care about them. I don't necessarily need a specific day for this, but it's always good to remind others that they're loved. So, I wish you the happiest Valentine's Day yet and hope you ate gobs of chocolate while celebrating! :) 

What I do and don't

Things I no longer do because of training:

1. Have completely ache free days

2. Wear heels five days a week

3. Sleep in on Saturday mornings

4. Ditto for Sunday mornings

5. Have entire nights free during the week

6. Get pedicures (because my feet are gross right now)

7. Lay around because I have free time

8. Feel guilty about eating gobs of food

Things I now do due to training:

1. Carry packets of Jet Blackberry GU in my purse at all times

2. See my neighbors far more often, even in the winter

3. Worry more about the practicality of my workout wardrobe than my fashion of my actual wardrobe

4. A TON more laundry

The brain game

This morning, my head was NOT in the game. I had to get on the dreadmill for six miles, and the first 3.8 felt like torture. My sweet, little brain would not find something to focus on. Instead, my internal dialogue went like this...

"My hair-tie is too loose." "I think my right shoe is tied too tight." "What incline did I set this on?" "I need a sip of water. Have I taken a sip of water lately?" "I wonder how long it's been." "Okay, focus... focus on breathing, in and out and in and... this gum is too minty." "The sun is shining weirdly." "I wonder what my knee is doing on the inside." "Is that a twinge in my shoulder? It feels like a twinge." 

It was approximately 36 minutes of this. 3-6 MINUTES. That's a lot of time to have the brain moving all over the place. A. LOT. OF. TIME. 

There is something about overcoming the brain when running. Some days, I go out out for a run, and I'm so focused, I don't know where the time goes. On Thursday, I ran five miles on the dreadmill and it went fast and felt easy. Today was NOT like Thursday. My body felt heavy. Instead of focusing on how far I had come, I focused on how far I had to go. 

It's a funny thing, this whole mind over matter phenomenon. Physically, I KNOW my body is capable of running six miles. I've run six miles plenty of times now. But the mental obstacles are the ones that seem harder to overcome. I can also equate this to life, lately. I mean, realistically, I KNOW everything is going to be okay, but sometimes telling myself that and really believing it is just plain tough. 

Mind over matter. Positivity. And hope. Yep, that ought to do it. 

Never, never quit

On my bathroom mirror hangs a little sign. It's a business card, actually, that says "Never, never quit" on it. My friend Janet gave it to me years ago with a card. I see this sign every morning when I wake up and every night when I go to sleep. 

I've never really been much of a quitter. It's the perfectionist in me -- It might take me eons to do something, darnit, but I'm doing it. 

There haven't really been points upon this journey that I've thought about quitting. There have been struggles, though. Physically, there have been days my body hated me enough to tell me about it. Mentally, I've hit more than one wall when running. Overcoming those walls is incredibly difficult, especially when you're only halfway through a run, but knowing that it's a mental block and not something else helps soften that blow. Emotionally, I've been scattered. There have been a few times I've cried while on a run. Hey, it's a release, yes? 

Training has given me focus. Training has renewed in me my optimism. Training has gotten me farther than I ever imagined it would. 

And training has reminded me to never, never quit... because you never know what's waiting for you after the finish line. 

Keep rollin', rollin' rollin', rollin'

Two weeks. Two weeks. Two weeks. 

In two weeks, I will be packed, ready, and on my way to Florida. I think when I signed up for this race in October, I didn't really think this day would ever come. But it's coming! 

Not much new to report this week. My body is mad at me and is seriously looking forward to tomorrow (REST DAY!). It's been a busy week of work, grading, freelancing, Jazzercise, running, sleeping, and trying not to go insane. I've succeeded at most of that list. 

Two items of note: 

1. I've had a few conversations and catch ups with friends this week that have been so, so wonderful. I'm reminded all the time what a wonderful circle of strong people I have around me. And I love that even in times of concern or sadness, they still find a way to be positive. That kind of attitude is contagious, my friends. 

2. Today in third hour Junior Honors English class, we had a pizza party. For one, it was International Pizza Day and for two, one of my students was heading down to the Swimming and Diving State Finals, and we wanted to send her off full of delicious carbs. My class has 24 students in it, plus me. We managed to kill ten large pizzas and three orders of breadsticks... with the exception of 3 pieces of pizza. Have I mentioned lately how much I love my students this year? I just love them! 

#17262

This afternoon, I got an email from RunDisney with my final race instructions. 

FINAL. RACE. INSTRUCTIONS! 

It had all sorts of great info, such as, the buses to take me to the half will start running at 3:30 a.m., and I have to be in my start corral by 5 a.m., otherwise I'm not allowed to compete. It also said there will be a twenty minute walk from the shuttle drop off to the corral location, so TECHNICALLY I'll be putting in more like 14 miles, but, bygones. 

It also contained something else really cool: Bib Number 17262

That's me! That's my official number! 

Receiving that email made me equal parts excited and nauseated at the same time. I'm so incredibly excited for this day, but so incredibly nervous about blowing it and disappointing myself. 

But, hey, I'm number 17262. :)