March 18, 2016 was perhaps the most bittersweet day of my entire life. Because that was the day that I officially resigned from my job as a high school English and journalism teacher. To be fair, I've been on maternity leave since February 2015, and while my husband and I made this decision a while ago, I wanted time to process before we made it officially official. But now, it's officially official, and I won't be going back to teaching next year.
I am ecstatic that I get to continue being a stay-at-home-mom to Henry and working my KEEP Collective business. Knowing that I'll get to spend each day with Henry makes me smile more than anything. But I am utterly crushed about not teaching my amazing students anymore.
People often think high school teachers are crazy. I willingly walked in to a school of thousands of high schoolers every day?! On purpose?! Yes. Because they are incredible human beings. They can teach you about kindness, trust, love, faith, and dreams. They can teach you about never giving up, overcoming obstacles, and incredible perseverance. And they'll make you smile. A lot.
I can't even begin to recount all my stories from ten years of teaching (one year in middle school, nine years in high school!)! I've had students flip desks in anger, laugh until they cried, confess serious secrets, gleefully tell me about college acceptance letters, lift each other up when things were really, really sad, and hug it out after they thought they'd never patch up a rift. I've gone to more talent shows, concerts, proms, graduations, plays, sporting events, and showcases than I could ever count. I've had really hard days that made me cry (and drink wine) and really amazing days that made me feel like I was doing exactly what I was meant to do. I wouldn't trade a single moment or a single memory for anything.
To my students: Thank you for teaching me more than I could have ever taught you. Thank you for reminding me to be open and loving and patient. I feel like I'll be the most excellent mom of teenagers because of you. You have been the greatest joy to me. And if you walked away from my classroom with anything, I hope it's that you knew you were safe and heard and loved in that room. English teaching aside, I hope you know how much I care about each and every one of you. If you took away some English and journalism lessons, that's just icing on the cake to me.
To my coworkers: Thank you for being my friends and work family. Nine years of working alongside of all of you daily has made me a better person. I truly believe LPHS has some of the most amazing, loving, talented, incredible teachers I've ever known. Keep fighting the good fight! Those kids need you.
There's honestly so much more I want to say, but I just don't even think I have the words yet. They'll come, slowly, I'm sure, as time passes. And when they do, I'll write them here and in emails and letters to the people who need to hear them. I will miss teaching with every fiber of my being. But teaching will still be there three, five, or ten years from now, and I take comfort in knowing this break is just that - a break.
Because part of my heart will always be in room 4.19.
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